Are High School Romances Meant for Heartbreak or Happily Ever After’s?
Relationships are an essential part of the high school experience, but it can come with extreme highs and lows. As teens, we often find ourselves caught up in the whirlwind of emotions, hormones, and the quest for love. For many of us, the idea of dating is exciting because of all the possibilities and ‘what ifs’. Between shared homework sessions and words of affection, the idea of a relationship can become all too appealing.
The Teenage Quest for Connection
Have you ever scrolled through TikTok only to be met with pictures and videos of couples you want to hate on, but can’t stop yourself from secretly wanting the same thing? Social media, friends, or even music all play a role in making us daydream about one day finding our “soulmate.” But is it possible that those picture perfect images make us overlook the reality of relationships?
For many teenagers, relationships can be fun, filled with first loves and emotional rollercoasters. It’s easy to get swept up in it, and to start believing that every moment is part of a love story. But as teenagers, mistakes are inevitable and feelings sometimes move faster than understanding. You may end up falling too quickly, saying things you don’t mean, and learning that love isn’t always as simple as it seems. It is important to learn how to handle them with care and understand the various factors that can affect the longevity of a relationship.
Amidst the chaos of exams, social drama, and the ever-present pressure to fit in, the question arises: are high school relationships durable enough to withstand the test of time?
Keeping the Sparks Alive: What Makes The Relationship Last?
Love isn’t just about the sparks, it’s also about the effort that is put into keeping the relationship alive. So, what’s the secret to turning crushes into lasting connections?
“Both sides should be thinking about actually dating someone and not just trying to add up quantities in your dated list.”
Zongjia Wu, Grade 9
In the frenzy of high school, it’s very tempting to jump into a relationship because everyone else seems to be doing it. But if you take your time, it often leads to a more authentic relationship. Rushing into a relationship often leads to overlooking red flags or ignoring your own feelings.
Your “Idea” vs. the Reality
When you fall for the idea of someone, you often create an image of them that may not align with reality. You might focus on their looks, popularity, or how they fit into your vision of the perfect couple.
It’s really important to get to know each other first—discovering your shared interests, values, and dreams. This way, you can develop a deeper connection that’s not just based on infatuation.
It’s important to remember: you need to love the person for who they truly are, not just the idea you envision in your head. Real love is about seeing the whole person—their flaws, and their dreams. It means embracing their strengths and weaknesses, understanding their passions, and accepting their imperfections.
Communication
Good communication is invaluable in a healthy relationship. It’s not just about sharing your feelings; it’s about being able to talk about anything, from the goofy stuff (like which Netflix show to binge next) to the serious issues (like future plans or personal struggles).
When you feel comfortable enough to say what’s on your mind without fear of judgment, it deepens your connection.
Independence/Boundaries
“There’s the sense of knowing there’s somebody who’s my person and I’m their person. But along with that, you have to figure out how to be the other person’s person without being possessive, you know?” – Tilly Tem, US counselor
Having your own friendships and interests outside of your relationship is also important. You have to make sure not lose yourself in the relationship, and have other meaningful things that can take up your time. It’s important to find someone that is going to let you have your own separate hobbies and interests, so you are able to grow as a person, as well as a couple.
Loyalty
Loyalty is more than just a word; it’s the heart of any strong relationship. It’s about being there for each other, whether you’re celebrating successes or facing challenges. When you’re loyal, you create a safe space where both partners can be vulnerable. It means sticking by each other’s side during tough times, such as dealing with the stress of school or family issues. Knowing that you both have each other’s backs builds trust and makes the relationship even stronger.
Reality Check: What Really Happens to High School Relationships?
“But I have known people that met in high school, married and stayed together 50, 60 years, you know, so I know it does happen, but it doesn’t happen very often because it’s kind of a practice time for you guys,” says Tem Tilly, US counselor.
Approximately 40% of high school relationships are able to last beyond graduation. High school relationships may not last long, but they can be valuable and a great learning experience.
They may end up teaching you about future relationships, and can help with your overall maturity. If you believe that you truly found your person during high school, then it is important to give that relationship your all, whatever the odds.
High school relationships, no matter how long they end up lasting, will leave a lasting mark on our hearts. They teach us about love, communication, and the bittersweet nature of growing up.
Most importantly though, they shape our understanding of what it means to care for another person and to be cared for in return. In the end, they teach us life long lessons on handling relationships.
Do strange habits affect relationships too? Check out Qianrong Wu’s opinion article on some “weird things people do.”
